A friend often says she decides who she’ll hang around with and what projects she’ll take on using one simple question: does it give her energy or take it away?
If you employ the same yardstick in your life, you’ll probably discover some people that need to be released. Over my life, I’ve discovered that some people I viewed as friends didn’t fill the role very well. Some of them were “friends” when they could get things from me, some were “friends” because they needed someone who would listen to their litany of woes, and some were “friends” until they found a new “friend.” You, too? These people didn’t give me energy, they took it away, though I didn’t understand that at the time. Now that I do, it’s easier to keep “friends” like that at arms-length.
Maybe you’ve had a friend like this, too? I’ve known Marie (not her real name!!) since the day her husband died. We met under trying circumstances for her, for sure, but quickly became good friends. She had keys to my house – I had keys to hers. We shared recipes, rides to doctor’s appointments and loved spending time in the kitchen together, whether in her house or mine. Occasionally I wouldn’t hear from her for a few weeks, which was odd. Then one day she mentioned to me that she was “taking a break” from a mutual friend. She gave me a litany of reasons why this friend was worthy of being ignored by her, and that was the piece of the puzzle I needed. Marie was a fair-weather friend, not someone who would be there if and when I needed her. She’s the kind of person who will give you anything and everything you need – when she feels like it. But if she’s “taking a break” from the friendship, you can’t even get a reply text.
These are the kinds of friends that probably need to be avoided. While it’s tougher to avoid family members and close co-workers who suck the joy from your life, you can make a conscious choice to interact with them as little as possible, and that will help keep you on an even keel.
So remember to ask this question – do they give you energy or take it away? Hang around with people who give you energy and you’re bound to be happier!
I’d love to hear how avoidance leads to your happiness – please contact me here or on my Facebook page and share your wisdom. And if you’d like a happiness quick tip to show up in your “in” box to start each week off right, sign up and it’s yours. Just scroll to the bottom of any page on my website – sandy j weaver dot com – the sign-up form is in the footer. Have a happier day!